I am not “your,”or anyone else’s, janitor

Posted: May 12, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Janitorial work, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dear (anonymous) Sir,

A few days ago, you asked the internet through a google search, “does my janitor who is a male like me and im a male (gay)?”  And the internet took you to my blog, in the hopes it would help you find your answer.  (Yes, the internet does have its own hopes and dreams!)  I highly doubt you found what you were looking for, so I decided to fill in the blanks, in case you try again in the future.  I will be taking some liberties and making some assumptions, in order to create a concise response.  If I am off base, please, call me out!

I’m sorry to let you know, the internet cannot answer questions that are this specific to your personal experience.  You can glean a whole lot of information that might help you put words to your feelings, which is super helpful.  But the internet does not know your situation, does not know your janitor, and does not know anything beyond whatever it is that people write on it.  Is there a chance that your janitor wrote about you on the internet?  Yes, maybe.  But you will not be coming upon that writing by asking in that way.

In order to learn more about this, you would have to interact in real life.  Also, you may want to ask yourself instead, “Do I like my janitor, like, do I like like him?  And if so, do I want to do something about it, despite potential consequences?”  You might want to weigh the pros and cons.  You might want to feel out the situation in more nuanced ways before jumping to conclusions or potentially propositioning him directly.  You could ask for advice from people you trust and are close to.  Hell, you could even anonymously ask for advice in myriads of places online (again, I’d suggest focusing on your own feelings and not your janitor’s)!  But you will not come upon much success by googling it.

Equally important though, please disregard everywhere in the above paragraphs where I indulged the idea of “your” janitor.  He is not your janitor.  You do not own him.  You may not know this, but he doesn’t actually even work for you!  I am going to assume you are not his direct supervisor, and are instead someone who works in a building (as a lawyer, businessman, teacher, or some other profession where you work in a space.)  And he cleans your space.  You, in a way, do own that space.  It is sort of “your” desk, “your” trash can, “your” chalk board, etc.  That is fine.  But, again, he is not “your” janitor.

Let’s go out on a limb and imagine you are his supervisor.  In this case, and only this case, it could maybe be appropriate to call him your janitor.  My supervisor does this – she will refer to us (the people who do work for her) as “my guys.”  This has the potential of fostering a sense of camaraderie, like we are a team, and she is our leader.  This could be OK.  But to singularly be someone’s something, even in this context, would be strange.  If you are his supervisor, I’d suggest cutting out the “my janitor.”

I’m just going to say this directly, as a janitor who cleans classrooms.  I am no one’s janitor.  I am employed by a school district.  My salary is worked out through the annual budget, which comes from taxpayers.  I am in a union; I pay a union due, and they do work on my behalf.  I clean classrooms that are, spaces owned (in a way) by teachers and utilized by students.  I do not work for teachers.  If teachers have a problem with my work, they could go to the principal and/or my direct supervisor.  The reason she is “my” supervisor is because, ideally, she has our collective best interests in mind.  And because she is above me, on the power scale, and it is therefore obviously not actually owned by me.  It is more appropriate.  “My boss.”  “My professor.”  “My doctor.”  “My therapist.”  These are common and straightforward.  “My busboy.”  “My waitress.”  “My maid.”  “My landscaper.”  This is a different story; this is slippery.  Watch your step.

Sincerely,
Not Your Janitor

 

Ask your doctor if Shift Work Disorder is right for you

Posted: April 1, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Janitorial work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Last week, we were watching TV, and a commercial about “shift work disorder” came on.  A rugged older gentleman in a flannel shirt was explaining about how he hadn’t realized how his job might be affecting his sleep patterns and quality of life, until his doctor asked him what hours he works.  I laughed out loud.  Then the commercial (which was for Nuvigil – used to improve wakefulness) went on to tell you to talk to your doctor, and then it went through the lengthy list of side effects, you know – the usual drill.

I think it is awesome to have dialogues about what’s going on in people’s lives and what might be improved, whether it’s with a prescription or other changes in lifestyle.  And if having an official diagnosis helps more people figure out what’s going on and what they can do about it, more power to them.  Just… personally, I find it absurd that this wouldn’t be a natural line of thinking.  I think about this kind of stuff all the time.

I don’t work overnights (and am so glad for that), but I do have an “off” shift.  Otherwise known as the “B-shift.”  (My co-worker pronounces “shift” as “trick,” so I might interchange the two words from here on out – just a heads up.)  I work 3pm-11:30pm.  It is currently 12:50AM as I write this; I’ll probably go to bed by 2AM.  This is what I do, Monday through Friday.  It means that I never see my partner during the work week.  We have to catch up via telephone, notes, and emails, which is sometimes extremely frustrating.  It means that I don’t see much of anyone during the work week.  Like, some friends are going out to dinner for someone’s birthday?  Sorry, can’t make it.  You’re going to the movies?  Sounds like fun.  I stopped being jealous over the stuff I was missing out on a long time ago.  Better to just accept it.  And, on special occasions, I can always just call in sick or work a half day or something.

I’ve found that there is often a natural camaraderie amongst people who work strange hours.  For example, I’ll sometimes go to the grocery store, still in uniform, around midnight, and the cashier always wants to tell me what time she gets off work.  And if I haven’t been in a while, she’ll ask, “Where you been?”  Maybe the summer has passed by (I work like normal people during the summer), so I’ll say, “Oh, I was on a different trick.”  And she’ll say, “That’s always the reason!  Whenever I haven’t seen someone in a while, it’s because their trick changed.”

So, essentially, shift work disorder is a medical condition that can be diagnosed and treated by a doctor.  (Phew!)  It occurs when your job calls you to duty and you end up fighting against your natural circadian rhythms.  It’ll cause insomnia when you’re trying to sleep, and ES (excessive sleepiness – so relieved that there’s a medically coded shortened version for this term!) while you need to work.  Shift work disorder was invented in 2011 to help people figure out why they feel tired.

Whoa.  Ok, lemme try to go back to the point where I do think this is all positive if it helps people improve their lives.  I just worry people will see an ad on TV, or their physician will bring it up with them first, and they’ll just mindlessly pile on more pills to the over-medicated masses.

Like I mentioned, I don’t work overnights, so my experience is not nearly as extreme as many people’s.  But I do want to point out that I feel like my work / sleep schedule has actually created MORE room for circadian rhythms to do their thing, according to the seasons.  It seems only natural that people would feel the need to sleep more during the winter months, if they could.  But I’d imagine most people’s schedules don’t allow for extra sleep.  They have to get up with their alarm and get to work.  Me?  I can sleep as much as I want, apparently.  I don’t generally have much going on in the mornings or early afternoons before work, so, often I’d let myself sleep 9-10 hours a night when it really seemed like I naturally tended toward this, roughly November-February.  (A luxury, I know.)  I was actually starting to feel concerned about all the oversleeping (I was wasting so much time!), but it abruptly righted itself; in February, I could no longer sleep in.  As if, my body knew that spring was on the way and I better start getting ready!

Brand new diagnoses coming soon:

– sitting-on-the-couch disorder
– texting-while-driving disorder
– junk-food-for-lunch disorder
– gender identity disorder
Oh, wait…

 

Rumors flying around the kindergarten classroom

Posted: March 7, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Janitorial work, Passing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

A couple of days ago at work, I was passing by 2 kindergarteners who were putting on their boots, getting ready to go home for the day.  One whispered to the other, “Is she a boy?  She looks like a boy.”  I thought it was super cute – it’s cute how kids think that if they whisper, there’s no way you can hear them.  It’s cute how kids’ gender categories are only “girl” and “boy,” no matter how old the person they’re talking about is.  It’s cute how kids are so curious.

Then tonight, a book fair was going on.  A mom and her daughter arrived a little early and the mom asked me where it was being held.  We were about half- the-hallway’s-length away from each other; I gave her directions to the cafeteria.  She said thanks and I started to turn the corner when I heard her say, “Oh, I was just wondering?”  I turned to face her again and she continued.
“What’s your name?”
I told her my name, which is a slightly androgynized version of my very feminine name.
She said, “Oh ok, sorry, I thought you were someone else.  My apologies.  For my daughter.”
“Sure, no problem.”  She then told me her name (I forget now) and, “Nice to meet you.”

I walked away from that having no idea what motivated those questions or who she might have thought I was.  No one ever mistakes me from someone else.  I don’t mean to be boastful, but I’ve been told that I have a very distinct face so many times that it’s become a source of internal pride.

As I thought it through, all I could imagine was that this was a kindergartener here with her mom (she looked to be kindergarten age).  The kids had been increasingly wondering whether I am a boy or a girl, and this one kid even spread the word to her mom.  And her mom was helping clear it up for her.  I’d rather it not get cleared up!

This is why I’m seriously considering going by a masculine-sounding name.

 

Creepy pitch black at the school

Posted: January 7, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Janitorial work | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Today I don’t have to go to work, and I get paid for it!  My excitement is dampened by not feeling well, however.  Snow days are a big perk of being a janitor at a school – crossing fingers and wishing and hoping, just like when I was a kid.  The downside is that snow removal is a part of our job.  Not mine so much as the head custodian’s, but we all end up doing quite a bit of shoveling and salting.

Last night, my coworker and I were cleaning like normal (kids back in school, back to our routine).  I was vacuuming.  It was 8:15.  Suddenly the power went out; my first thought was, wow, it’s really really dark.  I cannot see a damn thing.  Like, usually when all the lights are out, you can still see.  There are outdoor lights streaming in every window, and there are red exit signs glowing everywhere.  It’s kinda creepy if you think about it, this red light reflecting off the shiny floors and walls…  but I don’t really think about it.  I honestly don’t mind walking through the school with all the lights out.  (In addition, I don’t mind going on tall ladders or into tight spaces.  This gives me an advantage over my co-workers.)  This was way different though.  I was thinking, how am I going to navigate out of this classroom with all the desks and tables?  A few moments later, the generator kicked in, and the emergency lights powered on.  It was still really eerie – no lights in any of the rooms, just a couple down the halls and in the  bathrooms.  My co-worker was making high pitched ghost noises.  He does this often – if he’s got a lot on his mind or if he’s just freaked out.  I followed the noises to him and told him I was going to call our supervisor and shut down the compressors and some other stuff.  Our supervisor came in and we looked around for flash lights.  She made some phone calls.

There was a chance we weren’t going to be able to finish our work because we could not see.  But in the end, the power came back on at about 9:30.  We got almost everything done.  And today we don’t have to be at work!

My supervisor used my preferred name, once

Posted: December 10, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Janitorial work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One time, last week, my supervisor used my preferred name!  It was super exciting; but now she has reverted back.  We’ve been working together for almost 7 years, and she and my one co-worker are the last to get on board with this.  Every single other person at this school consistently uses my preferred name, which means that my supervisor and co-worker are exposed to it on a regular basis.  Are they stubborn, old-school, unwilling to change?  Not sure.

It was pretty slow going to get people to use it consistently at first, largely because I preferred not to talk at all, let alone correct people on the usage of my name.  (My preferred name and given name sound pretty similar and are spelled only slightly different, but to me, the difference is huge.)  I feel like with teachers, there was a tipping point where they suddenly caught on.  And I remember the exact instance that helped with this – One of the most social teachers specifically asked me which I prefer, and so I made it clear to her and added enthusiastically, “Spread the word!”  And I think maybe she did.  That was about 3 years ago.  The same teacher also helped me spread the word about my news I just got married; she has been very helpful to me (shy, reserved, introverted janitor)!

I’m in a very weird place, socially, within the school network.  In my view, I’m more integral than some of the employees, who are part time and come and go depending on need, or just high turnover rates.  These would be one-to-one student aids, cafeteria monitors, and kitchen staff, mainly.  But I’m not nearly as integral as everyone else, who need to attend faculty meetings and work in interconnected ways and figure out things with students all the time, often as teams and groups and committees.  People have to force themselves to be social, for their job if not for the act of connecting itself.  Me?  I could be completely isolated and still get my job done.  But also, I have the flexibility to be very social, if I wanted to be.  I’m going in and out of teachers’ rooms every day, after school, and a lot of them are still there working, winding down, when I come in.  I could chit chat with them all.  But generally, I don’t.  Recently, I’ve improved in just at least being friendly and making small talk.  Previously, I would even stress out about saying “Hi” when I came in.  This isn’t an exaggeration – for so long, I thought that they are all so busy and stressed; I should not bother them.  I should come in and clean up after the kids, for them, and then get out.  Teachers didn’t feel like real people to me.  I would go as far as to say I even felt intimidated by them.  Here I am doing this lowly work, trying to work around them, trying to be invisible.  Now?  I’ve realized they are people and I am a person, and we can relate on a human level, and we all work within this larger environment that is a School.  I feel so much more at ease.

A lot of people know a lot more about me now than they ever have before.  I would guess that about half of the faculty and staff heard that I just got married, and (I think) they know it’s to a person of the same sex.  But this is only the simple version; they could know so much more, if I ever got that far – it’d be awesome if they knew I don’t identify as female.  It’d be awesome if they knew I prefer male pronouns.  It’d be awesome if they knew I’m on testosterone, but am not actually medically transitioning and do not plan to ever pass full-time, or even half-time or quarter-time.  I wonder how all of that would go over, hypothetically.

For now, it’d be nice if my supervisor and co-worker would get on board with my name!

One school (work) day down, one hundred and seventy-nine to go

Posted: September 4, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Janitorial work | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Today was back to school day.  What does “back to school” mean for a janitor?  Well, for this janitor, It means not getting home from work until close to midnight.  Blah!  It means never seeing my partner (other than seeing her sleeping) during the work week.  This will be new.  Previously, she had mornings free too and worked later shifts.  It’s going to be a big relationship-pattern change.  So far we’ve been talking on the phone in the evenings, but, not the same!  It also means doing the exact same thing, every single day, 180 times, until next summer.  I’d be hard pressed to think of another job that is as isolating and routine-oriented as this one.  Mail carrier, trash collector, …what else?

I’m grateful at least we have 2 months every summer where things get changed up.  We get to work normal hours.  (Well, close.  It’s 6:30am till 3:00pm.)  We get to work all together, as a team.  And there’s all sorts of different, exciting things to get done.  Scrubbing desks and chairs, getting the old wax up off floors and re-waxing, shampooing carpeting, lifting heavy things, moving and organizing stuff.  At least it’s something different every day.  And sometimes there are donuts!

During the school year though, we’re all on our own.  I tend to be kind of rigid naturally, so I go through my work exactly the same way every day.  I really think I need to challenge myself on this before it feels too mentally heavy.  Things can get really heavy…  Bleak, repetitive, draining, scary, lonely…  Usually I listen to my iPod, and I read during break time, try to keep my mind active.  I talk to my co-worker a little bit, but basically, I am alone.  I’m kind of used to it by now, but also I want to preemptively plan ahead before things get really bad, in my head.

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