further access to testosterone despite not medically transitioning

Friday, I picked up a prescription for Androgel refills, and I’m now covered for 4 more months at $6.25 per month!!!  No appointment, no blood work, no more insurance hassles.  I felt elated that it was so easy.  I feel like initially when I was trying to get some testosterone a few months ago, I was going back for so many appointments, having to call insurance, having to wait for the pharmacy to phone my doctor, worrying I was going to be denied access because I was being upfront about not planning to use it to medically transition, etc.  It almost seemed not worth it.  But objectively, it was actually relatively easy to get.  And I’m so grateful I have health insurance.

It’s just that I wanted very badly to continue avoiding doctors and all that stuff for the rest of my life, kinda.  When I was younger, I was going to psychiatrists and getting prescriptions all the time.  Going to pharmacies, getting blood drawn, getting refills, trying sample pharmaceuticals, being misdiagnosed.  In a way, it feels like that’s what my young adulthood was about:  being mentally ill, seeing myself as someone who is mentally ill and not often fully functioning.  And then I just dropped out of the health system for like 8 years and gave up on pills.  I liked that, the dropping out, and really dreaded getting back into it in order to access testosterone.  It is so worth it though.  And the hard parts (I hope) are over.

Today at work, we went to our annual safety meeting, where we go over asbestos awareness, chemicals, fire hazards, blood-borne pathogens, the dangers of ladders, and how to lift heavy things.  It’s the same exact power point presentation every year, but I always really love it because it’s the only opportunity to get to see all the janitors from all the schools in the district.  I get to say hi to all the people I’ve worked with in the past.  And eat donuts!  My co-worker ate 2 bagels and 2 donuts.  I ate 2 donuts, a half of a bagel, and a cup of fruit.  It’s awesome that there was actually more than enough food this year.  In the past few years, they’ve skimped on the food, and it’s kind of been a bummer.

Also, I just want to note that I saw Swans this past week, and I went and sat down and fell asleep for the last 20 minutes of the show, despite their deafening levels, their heavy duty concrete walls of sound (I was wearing ear plugs).