effeminate pirate orders fruity drink on party boat

I went to a pirate and sailor themed wedding and dressed as an effeminate pirate.  Due to the extreme puffiness of my shirt, I was able to get away without binding.  (I try to not bind as much as possible; I try to resort to layers and rarely ever bind.  I feel lucky).  So I had this puffy shirt, and I wore it open to display some fine pearl necklaces.  I wore a red and navy blue diagonally striped cumberbund over red cut-off jean shorts and shiny black boots.  I wore my mohawk up tall and proud.  Oh, and I wore a homemade patch on the back of the puffy shirt that has an embroidered lobster and says, “Lobsters: gangsters of the sea.”

The wedding and reception were really incredible.  It was all aboard a touring boat that went along the canal.  More than half of the guests went all out in pirate or sailor costumes.  The food was all vegan and the boat was equipped with a full bar.  The only difficulty was that it was filled to capacity and there wasn’t much wiggle room.  It was very tough to get from point A to point B, so I made it a point to not need to go very many places.  Like trying to get a drink took a very long time.  Luckily I was waiting with a friend instead of stuck waiting by myself; something like this would have made me anxious beyond belief in the past.  But I just chatted with her as the line crept along.  When it was finally our turn, she ordered a beer, and then the bartender turned to me and said, “What’ll you have, sir?”  It was freaking awesome, particularly since I thought I was looking especially femme.  I said, “Gimme the fruitiest drink you got!”  To which he made up a frozen peach margarita and said, “There you are, sir.”  Which completely floored me because I am never sirred once I speak out loud!  In other words, I may be called sir, until I speak, and then people might apologize or “correct their error.”  (There is no such error).

But not on this pirate party boat!  I walked away with fruity drink in hand, feeling light in the shiny black boots.



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