Finally changing my name legally pt. 2Posted: December 14, 2016 Filed under: coming out | Tags: coming out, DMV, gender identity, genderqueer, legal name change, lgbtq, name change, non-binary, queer, trans, transgender 5 Comments
On Saturday, I got my signed court order in the mail, along with all my supporting documents (including an exemption to having to announce my name change in a publication) and instructions to go back to the County Clerk’s office and file again. It only took 26 days – didn’t expect such a quick turn-around. I got this piece of mail immediately after coming home from a birthday lunch with my spouse and parents, at which I told them about my legal name change (tough conversation to bring up, but I did it!) Monday was my birthday, and my spouse and I went on a day trip. I had also taken Tuesday off, which was perfect because I had plenty of time to go back downtown and keep this momentum going.
I got there at about 11am and, after filing, I purchased two certified copies of the court order for $10. I then thought, wow, I could go down to the DMV too at this rate! I did some stuff at home (including coming up with and practicing a new signature!!), and then I headed down there at about 3pm. Filled out the form, wrote my new signature in a box, got my picture taken, and then was told that their system was down. The lady re-booted the computer two times, I took another picture, wrote the signature again, and, …no go. She gave me my number anyway, but when I finally got to go up, they just told me I needed these things scanned first, and since the computer was down, it just wasn’t going to happen. Blah!
So, I came back the following morning (this morning). Wrote my signature two more times, got my picture taken two more times, with technical issues in between. It finally went through though. And now I have a temporary license, and I’ll get my new one in two weeks!
I had always thought I was going to stick with “F,” legally. As I went through the day yesterday though, I came back to that – it suddenly had a lot of weight attached to it. NOW was my chance to change to “M,” if I wanted. I would have just waited on the DMV until I’d gotten a note from my doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist. (That’s all it takes where I live! No proof of HRT. No proof of surgery. Just a letter from someone saying that you identify as you say you identify!) Ultimately, I decided, no, I’m not changing it. If I could change it to something else (“X,” “N,” or whatever, I’d have done that in a heartbeat. It was a fairly easy call – I was no more attached to “F” than “M” – they equally do not define me, so as a default, I’m sticking with F. At least for now. I know it might be harder to change it in the future, (Trump) but, that’s a risk I’ll have to take, because now is not the time…
I actually had an idea while thinking through all this, and I wonder if others do this: I think I will put a teeny tiny black sticker over the “F” on my new license. It’ll just be a blank square. And if for some reason I have to show a cop or something, I can peel it off real quick first. But for purposes of showing bartenders, etc., hey, they don’t need to know!!! I think it’ll feel super validating to black out “F.”
So, right now, all systems are open! There’s nothing in my way from changing my name anywhere and everywhere. It now is timely for me to come out at work. I can finally have an actual name on Facebook.
Etc. Now, where to start???
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Congrats Kameron!!! I think changing my name has been the most fulfilling part of transitioning, possibly besides starting T (because of the mental well-being I feel from it). I wish I had changed my name a long time ago. It was a huge thrill for me to name myself and then see it start to appear on mail and on my credit cards and license. I would suggest making a list of all of the places you have accounts (banks, employers, gym, insurance companies, etc.) and tackle that list asap. It seems overwhelming at first, but I actually didn’t find it to be too bad, and I hate making phone calls and filling out paperwork. I’m dragging my feet on changing my gender on my license but I do intend to do it yet this year. Enjoy seeing your new name and hearing people call you by it. It’s really quite a thrill!
Good luck on changing your gender on your license! And yeah, I’ve been pretty lackadaisical so far, but I’m planning to go to the bank in a few minutes, and then also tell some people at work today to get that ball rolling… go to HR later this week!
Congratulations! That’s such a good feeling! 🙂
I just got mine all sorted out, too, and it’s a relief
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