I decided to stop taking testosterone, for now

Two days ago, I abruptly hit a wall in my transition journey.  But it’s more like that wall had a secret corridor that I’m now turning down, without really slowing down – just taking a moment to look back, and all around me, and then moving on in this other direction.  The decision to stop T for the time being doesn’t actually mean that I’m losing forward momentum.  I was expecting it all along.  At some point.  At the same time, it wasn’t premeditated or planned  I just realized, now is the time, all of a sudden, and then I mentioned it to my spouse, and that was that.

The number one reason to stop, for now, is ongoing concerns of losing my head hair.  And the number two reason is that uncomfortable sensation of feeling overheated, which is much less welcomed as warm weather approaches.

I’ve been here before.  That was, specifically, January of 2016.  I feel so grateful to my past self for so diligently recording where I was at, every step of the way, so that I can get super specific about where I was vs. where I am!  It feels like a coherent narrative, of sorts.  In the fall of 2015, I had been on Androgel for roughly a year and a half, and I had lost sight of why I was doing it and what, exactly, was it doing for me.  I switched doses, I went off-and-on, and then in January of 2016, I just went off all together.  I ended up being off T for one full year.  And then I tried out injections, which I’ve been on now for over 2 years.

And now, again, I’ve lost sight.  I’ve been worried, daily, lately, about my receding hairline, and I can’t make sense of all the numerous products on the market to help that.  Rogaine, Finasteride, DHT suppressants, etc.  Instead of figuring out what might help, it just makes more sense for me to go off T, until I feel differently, which I know I will, again, at some point, in the not-so-distant future.

I do not look forward to getting my period again.  That is going to be horrible.

Other than that though, I don’t foresee any major issues.  Mental health-wise, I feel super stable and good.  I don’t expect that to change much.  Oh, also, I’ll be pretty happy about not seeing more and more facial hairs popping up.  Not a fan of my own facial hair!  I’ll be glad if that stabilizes for a while and I don’t have to think much about it.

I predict (and my predictions have been pretty far off, historically!) that I’l be back on T by November or December.  We’ll see!  Oh, also I guess I’ll have to tell my endocrinologist.  Do I have to go to my upcoming appointment if I’m not taking hormones?!  (Answer:  No.)

4 Comments on “I decided to stop taking testosterone, for now”

  1. Jamie Ray says:

    Seriously consider a hysterectomy (removal of uterus) if you decide not to go back on T. No periods, and you can leave in the cervix and ovaries if you want.
    PS Donna, Gracie, and I are fine, I’m still not on T but haven’t ruled it out completely.

    Liked by 1 person

    • janitorqueer says:

      It’s so good to hear from you! Glad that you, Donna, and Gracie are all doing well.

      Do you know, if I were to get a hysterectomy but leave the ovaries, would I still have naturally occurring estrogen at the same levels? I hear it’s not good for the body to have neither T nor E at a certain level…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Curious Mother says:

        You should definitely seek medical advice and not take my world for this – but leaving your ovaries in will indeed mean that you keep you oestrogen levels up which is a good thing as long as you don’t have reasons to worry about ovarian cancer. Having dramatic, sudden drops in both T and E would probably suck. Good luck – I enjoy stopping by now and then and hearing about your journey!

        Liked by 1 person

      • janitorqueer says:

        Thanks so much – that was also what I’ve heard and seems to make sense. I’m not actively seeking a hysterectomy at this point, but if I did I’d opt to leave the ovaries, most likely. It’s so good to hear from you!!!

        Liked by 1 person

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