This is a 2 for 1 celebratory post – the title says it all!
I started this blog a year and a half ago, largely inspired by Micah’s blog, Neutrois Nonsense to start writing my own story. When I started testosterone, I was overly concerned with the physical changes, and I couldn’t find an answer to my question anywhere. That question: is it possible to be on T long-term, at a dose high enough to make a difference yet low enough to not induce physical changes?
The answer, I’ve found out through personal experience, is YES. Of course everyone is different, but this is a great option for non-binary people who feel more-or-less OK with their appearance yet feel like something is off, something about their world might be improvable. Testosterone could be that thing that makes a world of difference. It was for me.
To celebrate my 100th post, here’s an excerpt of some jottings-down I did before starting this blog:
“I wanna start a blog. I already have a name for it and an address on WordPress. But I have yet to make my first entry. I suppose I’m unsure of how to approach it. I want it to be attractive and interesting to others. I want it to be long lasting. I wanna keep coming up with things to say, but as of now, I can’t envision that. It’s just one step at a time though – I shouldn’t worry about mapping the entire project out…”
And that’s how it’s been. I don’t have a backlog of ideas or drafts started. I just take it week by week, and see what’s out there (or just in my head) to write about. So far this has worked out for me. There is very little pre-planning. I don’t think it’d be sustainable, personally, if there were. I am obsessive by nature, and this is one of the few things that I’m not stressing out about. That’s why it works.
Like the title suggests, I’m also celebrating having paid off our mortgage! I bought this house we live in 8 years ago, and now we own own it. Feels good! How did we do this on two working-class salaries? It wasn’t through help from anyone or an inheritance or lottery win. It was through prioritizing, saving, and strategizing.
1. We live in a city with a low cost of living: One of the reasons I like where I live is that things are affordable. I don’t make much money, but it feels like my money goes far.
2. I am a cheapskate: This is, honestly, the biggest factor in having been able to save so much, and it’s just part of my nature. I don’t tend to buy a lot of new stuff. I get clothes from thrift stores, mostly. We don’t go out to eat a whole lot – my partner mainly cooks at home. We don’t go out to bars or coffee shops all that much, unless it’s to socialize. Socializing at other peoples’ homes is so much better anyway! Coffee, tea, beer, etc. is so much cheaper in-house. You can, in fact have really high quality coffee, tea, beer, etc. at home if you avoid stopping at Dunkin’ Donuts daily.
3. We lived with housemates for years: From the time I bought the house, to just a year ago, we always lived with 2 other people. Those people changed over the years; it really helped aid in a sense of community with others, and also financially. We would have group outings and dinners once in a while. We did a holiday photo and newsletter every year. We hosted a Kraftnite every Sunday evening. I wouldn’t trade in those experiences for anything. At the same time though, it’d be so tough to go back! Now that it’s been just my partner and me for a year, I feel spoiled. It’s nice to feel like we have the house to ourselves. It helped us pay down the mortgage all that much quicker.
In addition, my partner is learning how to drive, and she just purchased a car. We are entering “adulthood” like never before, lately. I cannot wait to be a passenger in her car! (I kinda dislike driving.)
Today is the day C and I have been together for 7 years. This anniversary, which we refer to as “Randomtimes,” trumps the recent new date on which we got married, for sure.
How we met (this would be a medium length version): We met briefly twice, through a mutual (more than) friend, in the winter of 2005/2006. I was buying a house the following summer, and she was looking for a place to live that wasn’t her parents’ house. I phone-interviewed her; she had previously lived in a co-op with a bunch of people. She moved in that August, into the tiniest bedroom ever. She painted it bright blue with mint green trim and had a bunk bed. Two other people also lived there. It was cool times; it felt important to me, this household identity. She and I were both in relationships that imploded, exploded, and / or fizzled out within a few months. We started to hang out a little bit, tentatively. She was working downtown, and I invited her on a few “dates” on her lunch breaks. These weren’t indicators to her that I was interested. She thought maybe they were fake dates, whatever those are. : )
Finally one night in December, I wrote her an email from across the upstairs hallway, being a hell of a lot more direct. I had been out late dancing, and felt pretty good about myself right then; she was asleep. I told her I like like her and would she want to talk about it in person with me? It was a very long email – but that was the gist, haha. She did want to talk; a couple of days later, we went for a walk and talked. And talked and talked (and then made out!), and talked some more because, dang, it was kinda complicated – we lived together, yet didn’t know each other super well yet. But we decided to risk it and see how it felt.
It felt pretty great, but was also anxiety provoking, at least for me, at first! But ultimately, awesome. And since then, we’ve always lived with 2 other people, who have come and gone. (Although C moved out of the tiny blue room with bunk bed, and into the biggest room, which has the access to the attic, which is my room / where we sleep.) Up until a couple of weeks ago… the gentleman inhabiting the tiny blue room with bunk bed moved out, and our other housemate is potentially moving out within a month as well. (We asked them to look for a new place to move within the next 6 months.)
This is the first time we’re going to be living on our own, ever. What’ll that be like?!!