I need to get a new doctor

I got a doctor last February so that I could get on testosterone.  He has been fulfilling that need, but I am realizing that I want a doctor to also fill other roles.  For example, I’m sick right now (I’m slowly realizing maybe I have the flu a really bad cold.), but there’s really no way I would go to my doctor about that, or something like it.  I would avoid my doctor unless it were really an emergency, or unless I need more testosterone (which, not having testosterone would totally feel like an emergency!).  And I’m starting to find myself wanting a doctor who A) is nice, B) will answer my questions C) will spend an adequate amount of time with me.  I’m pretty sure that’s not too much to ask.

I do not like having to have a doctor.  If if weren’t for the T, I probably would continue not having a doctor.  I have not really had a doctor since I was 18 and under.  I’ve gone to some health centers, and I’ve had psychiatrists, but I’m pretty turned off to the whole thing.  My therapist has slowly been convincing me that I could find someone I connect with and could go to for medical concerns as I age.  I understand how this might be beneficial.  She’s even in the process of looking into someone who is trans-knowledgeable for me, and I’d be super grateful if it works out.

I got referred to my current doctor by a therapist I wasn’t really liking.  But I went to him because he apparently treats trans* people.  There are a couple of good things about him.  Mainly, he doesn’t seem to give a fuck.  This has worked in my favor in some ways.  He’s leaving it totally up to me how much Androgel I wanna take, basically.  He doesn’t care that I don’t want to physically transition or that I don’t identify as FTM, exactly.  On the first prescription he wrote me, he checked off both the boxes for M and F.  I liked that a lot!  (But the pharmacy did not, and basically every trip to the pharmacy has resulted in calls back to his office, issues with the way he wrote something out, etc.)  He first tried to get me on a different topical testosterone which would be an amazing deal, like ridiculously low monthly costs.  The fine print, however, stated this was only for men 18+, and he failed to catch that, resulting in more hassles at the pharmacy.  Currently, he’s writing the script in such a vague way (dosage-wise) that I’m getting a really good deal (Like $6.25 per month) and I’m able to stockpile a supply (which I don’t think he knows about).  But, again, it caused issues at the pharmacy.

I would trade all that in (my thriftbrain is not in control of me!) in order to go to someone I could talk to and who would answer my questions.  My doctor is gruff and impatient, he apparently has no time for me (visits have been 97% waiting, 3% face-time), and he seems to want to place blame on me for his lack of caring and follow through.  For example, I know I should care about my blood tests, but I don’t.  So I don’t take the initiative in making sure I get them done at regular intervals.  Should I?  I’m pretty sure that’s his job.  When I was most recently there he asked when my last blood-work was done, and I said I didn’t know.  He glanced at my chart and said, “April?!!  You have to get these done every couple of months!”  I just shrugged and said, “I don’t know these things!”  I felt as exasperated as he seemed.  It may not be totally fair, but his attitude dictates my attitude, essentially.  If I had a doctor who seemed to genuinely want my blood-work and to then talk to me about it, I’m pretty sure I would be motivated to get the blood work done.  It’s pretty simple.  It’s kinda how a doctor-patient relationship works.

Especially if the patient isn’t a big fan of doctors to begin with.  I’m ready to be convinced they can actually be OK.