1.25 years on T without noticeable masculinizing changesPosted: June 18, 2014
I’ve been previously writing this ongoing series as “__ months/years on T without physical changes,” but I decided to change the wording from “physical changes” to “noticeable masculinizing changes” …a little more accurate. There have been some physical changes. But, ultimately, they have not added up to a more masculine gender presentation, which has been what I’m aiming for.
A quick rundown of the physical changes I have seen:
(All of these occurred within the first 2 months and then plateaued out, except the ones that have an asterisk – they started to become noticeable around the one year mark.)
- muscle growth, mostly in shoulders, chest, and abs
- moderate clitoral growth
- smell stinkier, need to shower more, get sweaty and sticky, get grosser quicker
- more peach fuzz on face, mustache teeniest-tiniest bit darker
- hairier butt crack*
- slightly more hair on thighs, where I apply the gel*
All these changes are so slight. I don’t think I look any different. Also, my voice sounds the same to me. I would say my range has shifted oh-so subtly (like when trying to sing or make high pitched or low pitched noises, which I like to do a lot), but my speaking voice is the same.
Here are a couple of pictures:
Also, please note my new summer fashion, in the first photo. I cut the sleeves off of a couple of western-style shirts, to wear over t-shirts or tank tops. The placement of the pockets & snaps helps hide what’s going on with the fact that I have a chest. In the winter, I just layer, and it’s awesome. In the summer, it is hot! Right?! If I can get away without wearing a binder, I will. (And I am grateful every single day for that.) This layered look just might do the trick. I do imagine that I will get top surgery one day. I always start thinking about it much more in the summer. What an incredible feeling it would be to just wear a tank top and be done with it!
I have not missed a day yet, applying 1.25 grams of Androgel 1% per day. The internal effects make it more than worthwhile. A quick rundown of those:
- lower levels of anxiety
- higher sex drive
- less instances of dissociating / more present in my body
- increased ability to experience bodily sensations
- more awareness of the world around me
- increased sensitivity to pain
- ability to let things just roll off my shoulders
- a lot of these are rewording similar themes: basically, a greater sense of well being!
If you wanna look back at where I’ve been, here are some past posts about this topic:
- Five months on T without physical changes
- Eight months on T without physical changes
- Eleven months on T without physical changes
- One year on T without physical changes
And also, a video about it, at the one year mark.